The Tog Times — Vol. I, No. 1
Vol. I  ·  No. 1 April 1, 2026 TheTogTimes.com
The Tog Times
From the Creator & Curator of Memes for Togs
Authoritative Coverage of the Photography Industry Since Approximately Now
Inaugural Issue · April 1, 2026

The Times Has Arrived.
You Are Welcome.

This is the first issue. You are reading history. That is a strong word for a satirical photography newspaper, but we are committed to the bit. Below you will find the stories that matter to working photographers this week — which is to say, stories that do not matter at all, reported as though they do. That is our format. We are not changing it.

Gear Desk

Authorities Intervene as "Sony Shooter" Disturbs Peace in SoHo

The suspect was found at the corner of Spring and Greene explaining dynamic range to a barista who had not asked. He was not carrying a Canon. He wanted you to know that.

Read the Full Report →
Wedding Industry

Husband Files For Divorce After Overhearing Wife Offer Discount For His Photography

The marriage had been under strain since the subject first offered a friends and family rate to someone who had not requested one. The friend got the discount. The marriage did not survive it.

Read the Full Report →
Photo Business

Hospitalized Photographer Assures Clients Medical Emergency Will Not Delay Gallery Delivery

In a statement released from the ICU, the photographer confirmed that culling had already begun and that galleries would arrive on the originally promised timeline, pending discharge and the return of sensation to the left side.

Read the Full Report →
From The Net

Photographer Captures Precious Proposal Moment; Also Captures Something Else

Congratulations to Lana and Peter. The Times extends its warmest regards and its sincerest recommendation that they reprint nothing larger than a wallet size.

Read the Full Report →
From The Net

Area Photographers Weigh In On Overexposed Wedding Photo; Community Reaches Consensus Immediately

"There is no fix. The fix was not doing this." The histogram was not consulted. The photo was posted anyway. The internet responded as the internet does.

Read the Full Report →
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Subscription Intelligence

Free for the People. More for Those Who Want It.

The Times is free. This newsletter is free. The website is free. We are not locking anything behind a paywall after three issues. That is not journalism. That is a con. We will not be running one.

For those who want to go deeper — extended coverage, full archive access, your name in the masthead — there is the Press Pass at $4.99/month.

Get the Press Pass → TheTogTimes.com/join
Classifieds

The Classified Section

Photographer seeking second shooter who will not ask about the RAW files. Competitive rate. Meals not included. You know why.

Wedding client inquires whether photographer can "just quickly" retouch 400 portraits. Photographer unavailable for comment. Photographer is fine.

For Sale: One memory card. Never formatted. Contents unknown. Asking $4,000 or best offer. Sentimental value.

Place a Classified → editor@thetogtimes.com · Subject: Classified · $50/week
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That is the first issue. More coming April 15. Forward this to a photographer who needs it — which is all of them.

Confidently and permanently yours,

The Editorial Staff
The Tog Times

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The Tog Times is satire. The frustrations it describes are real and you know exactly what we're talking about.