THE TOG TIMES | CLASSIFIEDS // March 2026

Get it while you can

FOR SALE

CANON 5D MARK III
Mint condition. Purchased after reading that “full frame changes everything.” Everything did not change. $800 OBO. Will not ship. You come to me.

COMPLETE LIGHTROOM PRESET PACK
150+ presets. Used one, once. Realized I still can’t shoot. Was $120, I got it for $0.99. $0. Just take them.

THINK TANK ROLLER BAG
Fits two bodies, six lenses, one destroyed marriage. $150.

SIGMA 35MM F/1.4 ART
Optically perfect. Autofocus is “characterful.” $400.

WANTED

SECOND SHOOTER
Needed for June 14th wedding in New Jersey. Venue has no windows. Client has opinions. Pay is “exposure plus a meal.” Serious inquiries only.

BRAND CONTENT PHOTOGRAPHER
Looking for wellness startup. Budget is “flexible” (means there is no budget). Aesthetic: “clean but warm but editorial but approachable.” Must own equipment and have 5 years experience. Must work for equity.

MENTOR
Must have shot film. Must have opinions. Must be available to tell me my work is good but also exactly what is wrong with it. Unpaid.

STUDIO SPACE

NATURAL LIGHT STUDIO
Available Tuesdays. Third-floor walkup. No elevator. One outlet. Incredible vibes. $75/hour.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

THE JACK OF ALL TRADES
Photographer available for weddings, portraits, events, brand content, real estate, product, food, automotive, architecture, street, documentary, fine art, and bar mitzvahs. Specializes in all of them.


The Tog Times is the world’s only satire news publication for photographers. If you found this useful, hilarious, or personally offensive — you’re in the right place.

📬 Join the mailing list: newsletter.thetogtimes.com

☕ Support the work: paypal.me/lanycpd

🎟️ Get Press Pass: thetogtimes.com/join

📱 Follow: @thetogtimes · @memesfortogs

🤝 Partner with us: thetogtimes.com/advertise

Previous
Previous

CANON 5D MARK III - $800

Next
Next

CRAP Movement Under Fire for Reviving Selective Color "Artistry"